U of S counsellor offers advice on coping with holiday stress during the pandemic

One of the things University of Saskatchewan counselling team leader Terri Peterson has noticed, speaking with students and colleagues is just how tired and weary some people are becoming.

With Thanksgiving around the corner, Remembrance Day and all of the winter holidays like Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s Day and several others, trying to deal with changes this year may become a bit overwhelming.

“People have adapted their lives and their workplaces…. often in the home now and they’ve had to move away from some of the resources they’ve had in their lives- the social connection, but also resources for wellness and regulation. Many of those changes made, may have been unsustainable, but at the time, no one knew the new rituals and routines would last.”

She says at this point, people still have to be innovative and creative to maintain some normalcy and variety in their lives.

As we come to a time in the year when many people usually connect more with family and friends during the holidays, she adds that we’re being asked to fundamentally change how that’s done in the name of public safety.

Peterson admits it is very difficult to remain creative and to sustain what many initially thought were temporary measures to cope with the pandemic.

“It’s become a chronic uncertainty that we’re dealing with, and people have different responses to that.”

She has some advice for those who may be alone, who may miss those decades-old family traditions, or who may not be able to see their loved ones for quite a while longer.

The goal is to resist situational apathy or, to resist taking unnecessary risks because of chronic “pandemic fatigue.” It’s to try and remain creative and connected.

Tradition is one of the issues highlighted by Thanksgiving and winter holidays, she says. So, how do we recognize that?

“We have to talk about it, we have to acknowledge that,” she explained.”How can we have some adaptation on the tradition, that will at least allow us to feel not all of the wholeness or fellowship or connection… but an aspect of that?”

Giving yourself a bit of a break, and self-care is important, she says. Communicating the need for friends and family is part of that.

“Maybe there’s some time on the telephone, maybe there’s time on Zoom, maybe there’s a walk. Maybe it’s a fence visit to remain somewhat connected.”

On the flip side, Peterson says some people may feel relieved because there will be less pressure during the holidays to mediate family disagreements, prepare huge meals, buy more presents, etc.

“For some people, the rituals around these holidays are not always positive, but they’ve often felt they had no choice but to participate in them. Maybe for them, it’s a bit of a break, or they can create their own tradition.”

Overall, her advice is to step back and assess what makes sense for you or your family this year; what is doable and what isn’t, what is safe- or what could potentially cause health or public safety issues.

“What is going to fill your cup? How do you want it to look? It may have to be adapted this year. Have conversations about that… what are we thankful for?”