Managing expectations: Mother’s Day in a pandemic

The days and weeks may be blurring together, but consider this a friendly reminder: This Sunday is Mother’s Day.

While many people without kids appear to be finding new hobbies to stave off boredom, many parents are dealing with bored or stir-crazy kids pretty much full time.

“It has been an adventure; (it’s) definitely not what I expected trying to work from home and teach a kindergartener and be a mom to a three-year-old,” Autumn Lillejord said when asked how she has been doing since March.

On the days she tries to juggle work staff meetings and fit in supplemental learning for her five-year-old daughter, sometimes Lillejord does whatever it takes to distract the kids and get through the day.

She notes it is nice to have extra time to notice her kids’ own particular quirks and attitudes, but those perks are balanced out by the challenges of managing sibling battles without a buffer of school or friends to take the edge off.

“We have days we like each other and days we don’t get along at all,” Lillejord said.

With schools closed for the rest of the school year and activities cancelled, Lillejord notes it is nice to not have to manage busy schedules — but stir-crazy kids also need something to do.

“No two days have ever gone the same as planned,” Lillejord said. “It’s never how you expect it to go and sometimes the things you think will go badly actually go really well.”

She appreciates sharing a sense of humour in parenthood, especially social media posts about expectations versus reality in a pandemic.

“I had so many aspirations and goals going into this and then reality took over and it was like, ‘OK, let’s reset what I thought we were going to do compared to what is actually going to happen,’ ” Lillejord said.

On a year when restaurant brunches and even kids’ crafts from school are not going to happen, the same philosophy of managing expectations can apply to Mother’s Day.

Most years Lillejord’s plans for the weekend include running in one of the organized races around the city, but this year those are cancelled. This year she would settle for having the time to shower in peace and maybe even picking out grownup food for takeout.

Anyone raising young kids can likely relate to how the ups and downs of family adventures and extra stress can flip back and forth at any time.

For Stephanie Streifel, spending one week trying to focus on working from home with her four-year-old daughter and one-year-old son was more than enough.

“It was extremely distracting and I just don’t understand how some moms are pulling this off,” Streifel said, adding she feels so fortunate to still be able to depend on a private home daycare she trusts.

Streifel does appreciate a more relaxed schedule.

“We are turning off the electronics more and spending more time as a family, more playing together, more walks together and just finding more creative ways to play,” she said.

Streifel has also noticed how much her four-year-old daughter has picked up on how much the world around her has changed.

“Robin blames everything on the virus right now and she knows because we’ve talked to her about it,” Streifel said. “I think the virus is some sort of supervillain to her.”

When it comes to Mother’s Day plans, Streifel credits her husband for often coming through with some creative and sweet projects.

With restrictions beginning to lift slowly and the rule allowing three expanded household contacts, their Mother’s Day plans may include the grandparents this weekend, which would be the sweetest gift all around.

“These are their only grandchildren and they have desperately wanted to see the kids and we have desperately needed a break and obviously we want the kids to see them too,” Streifel said.

“I get a lot of joy out of their joy, obviously, and for them to be so excited to see the grandparents is exciting for me too.”